Humour – Page 2

Archive by category "Humour" (Page 2)

Learn To Be Funny In These 5 Simple Ways

You are definitely lucky if you can make people laugh. So many people want to have that talent and yet, more believe that they do not have a great sense of humor as great comedians do. But this should not be a cause for you to be disheartened because it…

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind”. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – “mank” and…

Science sigs, for science types!

A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine. “If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” – Carl Sagan “Today, everybody remembers Galileo. How many can name the bishops and professors who refused to look through his telescope?” – James…

frogs that jump to conclusions by perry estelle

Frog farmers in the village of Bo Talo, Thailand, struggling with a glut in the local market, developed an export product for those who don’t require their frogs to be fresh: frog-in-a-can (which they hope will catch on as chicken and duck sales falter because of avian flu). [Agence France-Presse,…

Dr Farquar comments on Climate Change

Dr F Climate Change Climate change my arse! This summer is what a proper winter should be? Do you remember 1963? We actually loved going to school and playing snowballs on the way. No schools shut down in those days. Children have become molly coddled little shits. I was married…

Man Blacklisted On Ebay For Selling Vinyl Records Disguised As Omelettes (spoof news)

“Man ‘blacklisted’ on Ebay for selling vinyl records disguised as omelettes.” by Perry Estelle Todd Rizla was banned from using eBay after substituting his mailed vinyl albums for mushroom and cheese omelette. Complaints to eBay and the vendor accumulated as 12” album covers arrived at his customers doors filled with…

Parents Jokes & Quotes: Kids talk Science

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS oO———————————————————-Oo * “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.” * “Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.” * “When you…

Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”)

Cookies by Douglas Adams (author: “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”) This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I’d gotten the time…

Government Plans To Give Child Benefit To Actual Kids by Perry Estelle (spoof news)

Government Plan to Give Child Benefit to Actual Children. By Perry Estelle Amidst a raging debate on the benefits of not having child benefits when you are too rich to give a toss either way, leaves a devastating effect on many families on high and low income. In the wake…

Give Me 5p A Word and I’ll write you a past present and future…minimum 500 words for your article, promo, loveletter, resignation, speech or suicide note (payment in advance for this last one please)

Perry Charles Estelle Your Writing Wish is My Command Personal Summary I am co-creator of www.tintota.com 10 years of Global publishing and featuring your art and correspondence to hundreds of talent scouts. All artistes/writers welcome. editor@tintota.com I write to order. Give me a plot and characters and I charge £185…

Perry & Terry ask you “The Next Question…”

Next question….? At what point it is that your washboard stomach becomes a twin tub? Why it is some people when they walk make noises like a pub sign in high winds? Why some public swimming baths insist on having a tidemark of body fat around the inside pool edge…

Perry asks you 101 questions like: “How much can you get away with and still get to heaven?”

Do we still race against time when it seems to stand still? Do pilots take crash-courses? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms? Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? Do steam rollers really roll steam? Do vampires get AIDS? Do vegetarians…